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Rivendell

4 June 2004

BdF6     original art by
    Bryan de Flores


           There are so many liberating concepts in Starhawk's book (Truth or Dare, http://www.starhawk.org/writings/truth-dare.html), that to me it's one of the most basic texts about life.   I'd quote huge sections of it if I could.   Look at this one,

"Power-over takes shape within us as the self-hater.   The particular forms in which the self-hater may possess us mirror the five roles of the king: Judge, Conqueror, Master of Servants, Censor, and Orderer of the Universe.   Each aspect carries with it an obsession with its own issues and a view of the self and the world.   Each brandishes its own weapons and threats and makes its own particular offer, which presumedly we cannot refuse.   Each deludes us in some way, and each contains some positive value which we must reclaim" [p.117].
She talks about "power-over" and "power-with" and "power-from-within" on pp.14-15.   Mandatory stuff.
"The nasty magic of domination is done with mirrors.   What is not mirrored in us, what is not seen, tends to disappear.   To be constantly watched, not so our organic individual can be celebrated and nurtured, but so that we can be judged on how closely we approximate the rule, is a form of murder.   What is murdured is what is unique in us, what does not conform" [p.120].
           The second gate that Inanna must pass, is Fear.   When I work with an affliction debilitating enough to demand total attention, say an abscessed tooth, the affliction is not pain, though pain appears to be the issue.   But when you actually sit down and give it all of your attention, you cannot find the pain, because it is buried deep inside a bubble of Fear.   Fear separates.   The body's natural healing processes do not reach past the gate of Fear.   So the first step of healing is to be loving with the Fear.   Pouring love into Fear, it can takes days to melt the bubble and reach the pain.   When an affliction is the pustule of a big trauma from our personal history or our cultural history or parallels that we're connected closely to, it can take months and even years of concentration to melt the bubble of Fear.

           When we can find Fear in the body, it's much easier.   But so often Fear comes to us through the mind.   We've been trained so well to self-dominate, that our minds become instruments of control rather than liberation.   How will we feed our kids if we leave him?   How will we pay the rent if we quit the profession that enslaves us?   How will we survive if we quit working?   If I risk saying that to them, will I only make a fool of myself, again?   If I reveal that I want that - and how badly I want it, what will people think?   Was it okay to say that?   Do they like me?   Am I being too pushy?   Do I need to be more assertive?   What am I doing wrong?   If I could just figure that out!

           So even before we can get to the Fear in our body, often we have to swat down a swarm of worried thoughts that keep us from feeling.   The worst part of worry is that we were trained to believe it.   When we do it, we dont know we're doing it, so we dont have the power to stop it.   It can be lifetimes before we realize that we've left our bodies, left the present moment, that we are wandering in thought-space, lost.   "Spiritual" and educational traditions, many of them, treat the emotional body as if it was a demon, and the mental body as if it was the gateway to Heaven.   It's not.   It's the noose that tradition uses to keep us from liberating ourself.

           At the Venus Transit, the Venus-Sun-Pluto-Vesta tsquare and its 19-Virgo vacancy are powerful, but not at all the most powerful configuration in the chart.   The single strongest planet in the chart is Uranus, which is stationary - as it was in the Harmonic Concordance chart.   Remember the Archetype of Abandonment, the challenge to trust ourself above all else, careless of outcomes?   This stationary Uranus is part of the most powerful configuration in Western Astrology, a grand trine and a grand cross, joined at one corner of each.   That corner is Ketu, the Moon's South Node, the Tail of the Dragon.

           Neptune initiated Ketu at the dawn of this century - they were conjunct on 1/1/2000.   This initiation is why we say that the Veil will be torn away in this decade.   Now Ketu has squared Neptune, and this represents a change of phase.   Till now our connections with our parallels have been growing in the darkness, building roots.   Now they breach the soil horizon, building a stalk, moving into consciousness and into perceived reality.   Neptune - the God/dess - has reached into the rabbithole, as they put it in What the Bleep Do We Know, and pulled it inside out, like a sleeve.

           What is changing here is a lot bigger than just our 35-year relationship cycles, and our patterns of war and peace and love, and our concept of rolling our own reality.   There was a mastery involved in rolling our own, a sense that we could stop playing victim and begin to manifest what we durn well pleased.   Behind that egoic mastery is the Mystery, and the genie is outa the bottle.   We roll our own in the same sense that we paddle our own canoe, choosing a direction and a speed.   That felt great when we were on the lake.   It's still true in whitewater, but the rules are a little different.   We have to know the river, better than we know our own choices.

           We've been tied up in the bottom of the canoe, at the mercy of the river, for so long that we are right on to celebrate our liberation, our ability to steer and brake and accelerate.   But now that we can sit up we can see that there's a bigger picture here, one that's not within our span of control.   We have wiggleroom, and that's wonderful.   There's plenty of space for our Responsibility and Freedom and Joy and Excitement and Creativity and Love to blossom.   But now we shift, and begin to explore beyond the canoe.   Where is this river going?   Where are the waterfalls?   Will we recognize the portages?   Where is the edge between risk and safety?   Who travels this river with me, and who other rivers?

"She did feel it.   A dark hand had let go its lifelong hold upon her heart.   But she did not feel joy, as she had in the mountains.   She put her head down in her arms and cried, and her cheeks were salt and wet.   She cried for the waste of her years in bondage to a useless evil.   She wept in pain, because she was free.   What she had begun to learn was the weight of liberty.   Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake.   It is not easy.   It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one.   The road goes upward toward the light; but the laden traveler may never reach the end of it" [LeGuin, The Tombs of Atuan, p.173].
           Celebration is important, it's how we honor ourself for how hard we've worked, and how far we've come on the journey.   And this is a good time to celebrate, because it's been a hard road, and we're nearing the end of it.   The road ahead will be different.   Easier in some ways, harder in others.   Celebrate the transition, it is good.

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